TODAY - Watch episodes on NBC.com and the NBC App. Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie host NBC's morning news program. The TODAY function is useful when you need to have the current date displayed on a worksheet, regardless of when you open the workbook. It is also useful for calculating intervals. For example, if you know that someone was born in 1963, you might use the following formula to find that person's age as of this year's birthday: = YEAR ( TODAY ... Today function in excel is the simplest type of function, which just returns today’s date in the Month, Date, Year sequence of MMDDYYYY format. It can be on any day of the year, and if we are using the Today function, it will only return the date on which we are performing the Today function in excel. Find the latest tips, advice, news stories and videos from the TODAY Show on NBC. Discover the best recipes, easy meal ideas and healthy recipes from TODAY.com. Get everyday cooking inspiration for breakfast, lunch, dinner and more. View the latest news and breaking news today for U.S., world, weather, entertainment, politics and health at CNN.com. Frances Haugen tells Senate that Facebook makes 'disastrous' choices, prioritizes profit USA TODAY. School board votes to make masks optional as 430 students are under quarantine ABC News ... Find more information about stories, recipes, books, resources featured on TODAY. Vladimir Vladimirov / Getty Images Doctor makes passionate plea for high-quality mask use: ‘Protect yourself’ Watch the latest TODAY video with anchors Hoda Kotb, Savannah Guthrie, Jenna Bush Hager, Al Roker and more. Find videos for pop culture, concert series and more. Today's Date in Other Date Formats: Unix Epoch: 1642357255: ISO-8601: 2022-01-16T10:20:55-08:00: RFC 2822: Sun, 16 Jan 2022 10:20:55 -0800: DD-MM-YYYY: 16-01-2022
2022.01.19 19:20 NoSeaworthiness7525 28 more arrived today
2022.01.19 19:20 HeavyMetalandHerpes Great guys. Saw them before they were cool
|submitted by HeavyMetalandHerpes to boresandwhores [link] [comments]|
2022.01.19 19:20 JustTheRealNews Evansville Man Sentenced to Over 17 Years in Federal Prison for Drugging and Sexually Exploiting a Child
2022.01.19 19:20 Fortnite2gg Ethereum Most Volatile Crypto in New Year
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2022.01.19 19:20 alexwcro Quitting career to start business?
Anyone here recently quit their career to start an online business?
How is it going? What’s been the hardest part so far?
Are you following any guides / courses?
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2022.01.19 19:20 ShreddedSharks ShreddedSharks
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2022.01.19 19:20 GravyxNips Salt enjoyers unite
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2022.01.19 19:20 cem2256 Newbie question… What happens when I unbond from ATOM/OSMO pool?
Howdy! New to Osmosis lab as of a couple days. I’ve put some ATOM/OSMO in pool 1 with a 14 day unbonding period. So let’s say I unbond in a year and I get 100% APR. Do I get that back as roughly 50/50 ATOM/OSMO or do I get GAMM/1 that I can then convert. Hope you all don’t mind what is likely a dumb question. I’m just a bit confused after reading some of the posts.
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2022.01.19 19:20 thatMcKid69 Follow my Snapchat for free nudes 🍑🍑 Kimberly_white5
2022.01.19 19:20 PuzzleheadedRub4460 working in LA???
i am Canadian citizen nd have ARDMS licence. i would like to move to LA, california. do canadians get a job in california as new grad??
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2022.01.19 19:20 OrenjiHibana Any story where Minato is an Uzumaki?
2022.01.19 19:20 deadfishy12 Where did all the other JUCOs go?
2022.01.19 19:20 WillRayne Text Arguments are the Worst!
Text conversations can get out of hand very quickly. Sure, I've never been much of a fan of talking on the phone, and I could very likely cover everything I need to say in a five minute call, as opposed to a half hour of texts, but it's much more convenient and comfortable. That is, until it isn't.
Jess and I had been together for a few years now. Though marriage had entered a conversation or two, we were both quite content with our shared living space and in absolutely no rush to further complicate things. Neither of us were ruling it out, of course, but we weren't exactly racing to the finish line either. We were a happy couple, give or take the occasional spat, as all healthy relationships have, but text conversations that give way to type written arguments never go well.
I won't lay out the entire thread of messages, as it was mostly just meaningless shit; what do you wanna do for dinner tonight? Need anything from the store, yada yada...nothing special, you know? That was, until Brad Dawson; her college boyfriend, stopped by the house. Jess was in town hanging out with some friends, so I was just relaxing at home, watching some idiot box, enjoying a little responsibility free me-time, when the asshat knocked on the door.
I had been texting back and forth with my girl off and on for a while, so when I saw good old Bradley Douche-son through the peephole, I knew he had to be looking for her. Their break up had been pretty messy, from what I was led to understand, so I was sure he was hoping to grovel his way back into her pants. I threw the door open to, I don't know, like, assert my dominance and shit, you know? Anyway, as expected, he was looking for Jess, to which I maturely responded with an array of overly insecure sounding questions; What's it to you!? Why you wanna know!? What business you got with her!? Prick just chuckled and asked me to let her know he stopped by, before he turned around and strolled away all cocky-like.
Now I can't lie, I knew Jess was out of my league. It blew my mind when she agreed to go out with me, back in the day, but nothing makes those insecurities come flooding back like the ridiculously good looking ex, with his perfectly parted hair and shit eating grin, coming to my front door. Naturally, I did the adult, grown up thing, and sent my girlfriend a text asking why the hell her ex prick bastard thought he had the right to come to MY house. Yeah. That didn't go down so well.
The smartphone battle blew out of proportion pretty quickly. My mind made every single word she typed sound smart assed and defensive, so I followed suit. It went on for probably a good hour before I meant to type, "I guess I'll be sleeping on the goddamn couch again tonight." My thumbs were darting across the screen like crazy, while my heart was jackhammering like hell, so what I actually typed was a barely legible mess of complete gibberish.
I just stared at the words, while my hands still shook with anger, before Jess replied with a simple, "wtf!?" Before I knew it, I launched my phone at the wall, practically shattering the damn thing, sticking a fork in the senseless argument for now. My heart sank when I came down from the adrenaline rush, and I wanted nothing more than to apologize to Jess for being an asshole, even though I still wondered what business Douche-son had in coming here. I just flopped down into my recliner, and hoped to God I could salvage my relationship, before sending her rushing back into his absurdly shredded arms.
While I sat there feeling pretty embarrassed about what an ass I had made of myself, there was another knock at the door. Oh yeah, that didn't help my mental state at the time, as I was sure that good old Bradley biceps had already decided to make a return visit to make me feel even more like a complete loser, so I leapt to my feet, stomped over to the door, and slung the damn thing open, ready to slug a nice dent into that chiseled face.
"AND WHAT THE FU-oh! I'm sorry," I said to the tall man behind my door, who I had expected to be the muscled Douche-son.
"And hello to you too!" The man said, lifting the black fedora from his head, slightly.
"Um, can I help you?" I asked, having no clue who this stranger was, nor why he was at my front door.
"No-no, dear boy, how can I help you?" A smile reached across his thin mouth while he spoke, causing oddly unnatural wrinkles to carve into his sallow face.
He was almost unsettlingly tall, yet quite thin. He wore a long, black coat, which made his skin appear even more pale than it actually was. His features were very smooth, and I could not see a single pore. The jet black hairs which poked out from his dark hat, appeared almost fake, as though he were wearing a wig. Something about this guy did not look quite right. His nose looked perfectly average, as did his eyes and mouth, but the skin looked almost fabricated, in a way. The complete lack of eyebrows between his hair and eyes only made him look even more out of place. Still, his expression did seem friendly.
"Um, I don't need anything," I said, nervously chuckling.
"Are you, like, a salesman or something? I mean, if so, I'm afraid I ain't interested."
"A salesman? Hmm. Well, I suppose you could call me that, though I only arrive when requested," he bowed his head, still wearing that unsettling grin.
"Well, I appreciate it and all, but like I said, whatever you're sellin', I don't need it," I gave him a dismissive nod, reaching for my door to close it.
I pulled my door to close it in the weird guy's face, but he outstretched his arm, pressing his hand against the wood before I could shut it.
"Look, buddy, I…"
"As I said, dear boy," he said, interrupting the telling off I was about to give him, "I only arrive when requested…"
"Man, I have no clue who the fu…"
"My name is C'Kuch, and it is you who summoned me here. Now, if you will just grant me entry, I will be happy to discuss whatever it is you have need of."
I tried pushing against the one hand he held against the door, but I couldn't so much as budge the damn thing. I don't know if this guy was just crazy freaking strong, or I was an even bigger weakling than I thought!
"Very well," he said, lowering his arm.
I almost fell against the damn door when he dropped his grip on the thing. I had still been pushing it with all my might, so it slammed shut with me careening towards it. I stumbled a bit, but caught myself before I face planted. I just stared at the closed door for a minute or so, before I reached out to flip the deadbolt latch.
"What the hell was that.." I said out loud, before turning to see the tall man sitting in my recliner.
"Jesus!" I almost fell against the door for a second time; this time with my back.
"How the actual fu.."
"If you would be so kind," he said, interrupting me once again, while gesturing to my couch, as though it was his to introduce me to.
I just glared at the stranger; slack jawed and with my head spinning. How the hell had even gotten inside? What the hell did he want? Why was he being so damn insistent?
"It is as I said, my boy. You summoned me here. Now, if you would please take a seat, we can discuss whatever arrangements you feel comfortable with." He was still smiling! His voice was incredibly deep, like hauntingly deep, yet somehow friendly in its tone.
I just strolled towards my couch with my mouth hanging wide open. I dropped down onto it, placing my hands on my knees, and just glared at the strange individual. He gave me a nod, as though to acknowledge I was good boy, before he started speaking again.
"Now, what is it that I can help you with?"
"Bro, I have no idea who the fu…"
Yet again, he cut my words short as he outstretched his arm again; this time, in the direction of the wall I had tossed my phone at. My mouth hung agape again as the broken device flew from the floor to his elongated fingers, while small chunks of black plastic shrapnel followed after it, sealing themselves back together with the discarded phone. I watched as the reflective screen unshattered, molding the spiderwebbed cracks back into one seamless sheet of glass. He tapped the screen, which greeted him with its friendly backlighted glow, before he held it out towards me.
"It guwss olk be dleepong om teh goppdsnb Ckuch afaon timoght," was highlighted, just above my wife's questioning 'wtf' in response to said gibberish. The man just glared at me with the skin where his eyebrows should be raised, as if to say, "see!".
"I mean, yeah, things got a little heated and my clumsy ass thumbs forgot how to speak English," I said with a chuckle, completely unsure as to why I was being so forthcoming with this guy about something that was none of his damn business.
"Dear boy," he said, condescendingly, "I find it hard to believe that you simply entered the exact sequence of words required to summon me to this realm, by mere accident," his left eye appeared somewhat enlarged compared to his right while he spoke.
The more he mentioned words such as, 'summon' or 'realm' the more the truth of what was happening here was beginning to crack through my thick skull.
"WHOA! HELL NO! NO-NO-NO-NO!" I yelled out, getting to my feet, while waving my arms in front of me.
"No, this is not, I mean, I didn't, I don't! I wouldn't!..."
"Calm yourself, dear boy," he said, interrupting my barely coherent rambling, while gesturing for me to plant my ass back on the couch.
"T-theres been a big mistake…" I slowly sat back down, still holding my hands out, as if it would actually defend me against what I didn't want to admit this guy was.
"I understand that you may have, perhaps, came to regret inviting me here, but our agreement is legally binding. Once summoned; by invoking the chosen words, accompanied by the name of which demon you wish to bring forth, we are both obligated to come to an accord."
Yep. He said it; that word I was not ready to hear. I mean, is anyone ever ready to hear a word like that? Still, I had to convince him that this was a complete misunderstanding, though he did not seem remotely open to the idea. I can't say that I ever believed in things like, well, what he claimed to be, but it didn't appear that my lack of belief in him made him any less real. Maybe he was some sort of con man, with fingers twice the length of mine, unnaturally pale and poreless skin, and the ability to transport from in front of my closed door to my comfy recliner, before using the force to reassemble a shattered phone. Christ!
I sat staring at the man (yep, I'm still calling him a man. I ain't saying the other thing), trying to put together whatever could qualify as a rational argument in the back of my mind. I won't say what I came up with was particularly rational by any stretch of the word, but it was something, I suppose.
"Come on, man. Surely you can see this is a whole, big fluberdigoo!?"
Fluberdigoo, in this case, was a word my mom used to use when I was just a wee lad, to avoid using the f-bomb, or any other such words when my brother and I tested her patience a little too much. Likely, this guy would have not the slightest clue what this word meant, nor why I would use it in a sentence. To be honest, I have no idea why my brain decided this moment would be the right one to thrust it back to the foreground, but it couldn't make things any worse, right?
"I understand that you are upset, my boy, but I would ask that you refrain from using such language in my presence!" He looked downright stern, and a little offended by my words.
"Great," I thought, "that'll get him in your good graces."
"Look, man, um, sir, well, your honor, um, surely you can see that this is just a really big misunderstanding," I felt like I just kept repeating the same words, over and over again, but I had absolutely no idea what to say to this guy.
"My apologies, dear boy, but I'm afraid my hands are tied," his tone did sound somewhat compassionate, and even a little understanding, "unfortunately, we must come to an agreement, as you did indeed recite the words verbatim. Whether this was by accident or design, I simply cannot walk away until a deal has been struck."
The word 'deal' made my reeling thoughts even more chaos fueled. I'd watched plenty of movies, and even read a few books involving characters who made such deals, and that shit never worked out well! My heart was thumping in my chest, as if it wanted to break free. I couldn't help but wonder if that would be a more favorable outcome, in the long run. I hadn't ever been a religious type, but I couldn't deny that if this guy was what he claimed to be, at least some of the lore is for real. From everything I had read and viewed over the years, there's only one method of payment for these sorts of things, and I sure as shit wasn't ready to lay that on the line. If my heart did explode through my sternum before I ended up having to sign on the dotted line, maybe I could actually get out of this with my soul intact.
"So, um, what would be the simplest kind of deal we could make to work this out?" I asked, hoping there may be a lower tier membership service. Something like signing up for Hulu with ads, rather than the more expensive version without interruptions.
"I'm afraid, the rules are absolute," he said, with another smile forming across his thin lips, "whatever you request, of course, may be as extreme, or as minimal as you like; however, the price remains the same."
"Shit," I thought. I just couldn't see a way out of this! Dude was not remotely interested in any sort of negotiation, only his bottom line. I began to feel light headed, along with the bubbling remains of the waffle I had for breakfast trying to force its way back out.
"Of course," he said, interrupting my battle against nausea, "there can be substitutes, should you be able to confirm them."
"Well, in some cases, we will accept the soul of a first born child. Barring any existence of such offspring, we may choose to agree to a third party's soul, should they be willing to offer it as collateral." He was droning on as though he were reading from an instruction manual.
"How does that work?" I asked, growing more curious by the second.
"As far as offspring goes, we would require some manner of proof that one shall come into being, at some point. Judging by the nature of the type written conversation with your lady friend," he was panning through the text messages on my phone, causing me to grow even more agitated, as well as downright pissed off, "I would have to assume you are no closer to achieving parenthood, than we are in coming to an arrangement."
"Do you mind!?" Slipped out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop it. Not only was I growing a bit desperate to get as far away from this guy as possible, but it just chapped my ass to see him thumbing through messages I was not proud of typing in the least!
"Apologies," he replied, "I did not mean to overstep, only to confirm my suspicions; that you will not have a child in the near future to take your place."
So, let me make it clear, that even if I did have a kid on the way, or even had a snowball's chance in he...some really hot place, of ever becoming a dad, I would never offer up my child to save my own ass. That being said, I still wasn't giving up hope; neither in getting out of this, nor in having a future with Jess, even if I had made a complete ass out of myself.
"Of course, there is one last option that you may have interest in…"
I snapped back to reality, after mentally drifting away for a moment.
"Should your desire involve some manner of punishment to a third party, we may be able to claim their soul as payment, thus creating a singular occurrence which could prove to be mutually beneficial."
I stared blankly again, while my jaw drooped in a way not unlike a thirsty dog. I can't say I was fully wrapping my mind around what he was saying, as his words were a great deal more, I don't know, colorful than mine, I guess, but I think I knew what he was getting at.
"Do you have any enemies? Perhaps, someone you have quarreled with, or one you hold some manner of grudge against?" He asked, once more raising where his eyebrows should be.
"I mean, I don't know, I don't really wanna hurt anyone, you know? Sure, there's people I don't really like, but that don't mean they should go to he..well, you know…" I still couldn't bring myself to drop the h-e, double hockey's sticks word, but I couldn't force something like this on anyone, right? I sure as shit didn't want to be damned myself, but I couldn't throw some innocent person on the chopping block, could I? Yes, this whole thing was a massive misunderstanding, not to mention, I didn't ask for any of this craziness, but could I really..?
Another knock at the door stuck a fork in my inner debate. The sound instantly caused me to tense up, though surely another dem...guy like the one who sat on my recliner, wouldn't be out there. I looked over at the tall fella, almost to ask if it was cool to answer the door. He just gave me a nod, which honestly made me a little pissed off again. I shouldn't have to ask permission in my own godda...my own damn house!
When I pulled open the door to see Brad Douche-sons shit eating grin on the other side again, I felt my blood begin to boil.
"She's still not home!" I belted out, feeling my face flush.
"Oh, I know. I'm sorry, man," he replied with that ridiculously handsome smile, ugh! "I just wanted to drop this off," he handed me a flier, advertising the appearance of his band at a local bar this Friday and Saturday.
Yep, dude was in a band too. Good looking, shredded, and musically inclined! A trifecta of potential reasons for just about any woman to lose their shit over him.
"I meant to leave it earlier, but...
"That all?" I asked, cutting him off mid sentence.
"Um, yes. Thank you. I would be thrilled if you guys could come see us," he smiled. It was a full on genuine smile too! Ugh, he has the nerve to invite me to watch him musically seduce MY girlfriend!?
"Yeah. Sure," I replied, slamming the door shut in his face.
I heard a muffled, "it was nice to meet you," coming from outside, making me clench my jaw so hard, I thought I would crack my molars.
"You believe the nerve of that guy!?" I asked the tall man who still sat on my cozy recliner, while gesturing back at the door as though Douche-son was still standing there.
He just gave me a sort of crooked smile, while tilting his head to the side, with his brow raised again.
"I couldn't..." I said, fully aware of what the glint in his eye was implying, "could I? Nah, I shouldn't...should I?"
"It would fulfill your obligation to me," he replied, still looking like a sneaky little kid, in a way, while pulling a rolled up sheet of paper from inside his coat.
When Jess got home, we did a lot of talking. I apologized for acting like such an asshole, though I couldn't quite explain why I stopped responding to her texts, as my previously shattered phone had since been reassembled. I confessed that I was jealous after her college sweetie showed up at our front door, to which she just laughed, and assured me I had nothing to worry about.
"Besides," she said, still chuckling, "he's too pretty for me."
I can't say that didn't make my face flush again, but it still made me feel a bit better about things. With her assurance that her relationship with her ex was only platonic, I agreed to go watch the show with her that Friday night. Even if I didn't care for the guy, I do enjoy live music. If nothing else, I'd be able to drink.
So, I attempted to clean myself up as much as I was able before we headed to see the show. Of course, Jess looked absolutely gorgeous, with far less effort on her behalf, than the forty five minutes it took me to get myself looking presentable. I must've changed five or six times, before I finally settled on the grey shirt, black vest and purposely torn jeans. I generally wouldn't go to such lengths to attend a concert at such a small, local venue, but I hoped to at least compare to the ripped specimen of manhood, playing lead guitar on stage.
The band was already playing by the time we entered. Had I not taken so unusually long to get all fuzzy dudded up for the occasion, we may have made it in time, but we still managed to grab a decent seat, around the center of the bar. I had never heard them play before that night, but I had to admit I was underwhelmed. Douche-son just stood in one place the whole time, barely looking like he gave two shits about being there. He just stared off, while absentmindedly plucking the strings of his Les Paul.
"Brad is really off tonight," Jess said, looking almost puzzled by his lackluster performance.
"Yeah?" I replied, having no prior experience with his particular skill set.
"I hope he didn't have another fight with Dylan," she made a crease in her brow, looking very concerned about her ex.
Though I had little doubt what was actually responsible for his complete lack of focus at the time, I couldn't help but feel a little bad for the guy. Still, I knew I had done what I had to, and I was sure he had just been waiting for the right moment to come in and steal my girl away from me. That was, until what Jess had said finally drilled its way through my thick skull.
"Brad's husband. I told you about them, right?"
I felt all of the blood leak from my face, down into the pit of my stomach. The realization that Douche-son truly had no other motivation than inviting us here to enjoy some music, hit me like a truck.
"Their relationship has always been a little rocky, but I know they love each other. I hope they're not fighting again…" Jess said with concern in her eyes.
Her words were barely registering with me anymore. All I could see and hear was that I had damned an innocent man, over what? My own insecurities? Christ! What the hell was I going to do!? I always assumed that these deals would not result in a soul being claimed until the victim kicked the bucket, but it was pretty clear to me that Brad had already misplaced a part of himself, while he appeared completely mentally checked out on stage.
After the show ended, Jess made an attempt to go talk to her ex; to ask why he was so not himself, and see if he needed to talk about it. Unfortunately, he had exited the stage quickly, having already left the bar by the time my girl made it backstage to look for him. She talked about how worried she was about him all the way back to our home. She remained distracted all the way up until we hit the sack for the night. I couldn't sleep for shit! Not only had I royally screwed over this poor schmuck, but I couldn't help but wonder if my causing this to happen to, who I now saw as a pretty decent, stand up guy, could inadvertently have caused my own soul to be damned in the process.
I tossed and turned for hours before I finally passed out, only to be awakened by Jess heading out to work early the next day. It wasn't often that she had to go to her job on the weekend, but they apparently had some sort of rotation, where everyone would be expected to work at least one Saturday a month. Of course, my self centered ass only cared that I would be left alone all day to dwell on what a ten ton piece of shit I was. I tried to go back to sleep after she headed out, but it wasn't happening. My thoughts went crazy as soon as I opened my eyes, and there was absolutely no hope of me quieting my busy mind enough to get back to sleep.
I pouted like a two year old while I slipped on my robe over my t-shirt and pj pants, before slouching down the stairs and flopping into my recliner. I surfed Netflix for a bit, but couldn't find anything to distract me from my self pity. That's right, even though I had taken a steaming shit on the life of an innocent guy, I felt bad for myself. That alone made me feel even worse! It was just an endless circle of reasons for me to feel like a worthless asshole! I don't even know how long I had been sitting there, barely paying attention to the streaming show I had finally settled on, when another knock on the door broke me from my blank stare.
I staggered over to open it, still moving like an upset child, halfway hunched over, with my shoulders and arms hanging limp, skidding my bare feet across the carpet. When I pulled the door open, my back and neck instantly tensed up as, there in front of me, once again stood my old buddy, C'Kuch, though he wasn't alone this time. He was with another guy I had never seen before; some blonde, ponytail guy in a suit. He wasn't nearly as pale as the guy I inadvertently summoned via text message, nor as unsettlingly tall. Just an average looking guy, really.
"Hi!" He said with a pleasant smile.
I just nodded in response.
"My associate, here, has something he'd like to tell you…" He sounded British or Australian, or something; definitely foreign, but I guess C'Kuch sounded like he wasn't from around here too, now that I think about it.
Ponytail nudged the tall, pale guy, who had a look on his face like his folks just caught him tickling his pickle.
"We...well, I may have... inadvertently…" he was cut off with another nudge from the guy to his left.
He sort of clenched his jaw, as though trying to compose himself, as well as looking pretty pissed off, truth be told.
"I may have...misled you a little, in our previous meeting," he finally said, holding up the now wrinkled sheet of paper I had scribbled my signature across in my own blood.
"Before we go any further," ponytail said, "do you truly have any interest in the deal the two of you struck?"
"No! Hell no, um, I mean...no! I don't. I didn't!" The barely legible words spilled from my lips as soon as the guy finished what he was saying. I didn't have to even think about it.
"That's what I thought…" the blonde guy said with a sigh, before snapping his fingers, causing the contract to burst into flames.
"Go on…" he nudged C'Kuch again.
"I..," he said through somewhat gritted teeth, "I apologize for manipulating the truth surrounding the text message including my name…"
"Aaand?" Ponytail said.
"And…" another sigh, "I will no longer spy on private conversations...to insinuate that random gibberish is actually a summoning ritual, from which there is no escape…"
I just stared at the two with my jaw hanging open again.
"I do apologise for the inconvenience," Ponytail said, "my associate here is well aware that this is not the way we do things. Well, not anymore anyway. Sometimes, I'm afraid he is a little too smart for his own good, as well as quite the convincing performer. "
C'Kuch was just staring down at his own feet, breathing somewhat heavily, while nudging the threshold to my home with the tip of his shoe.
"Please rest assured that this will not happen again, and you are only the first of many homes we will be visiting this evening. In addition, you may be pleased to know that the soul you were convinced to sell, has since been returned, so you need not fret this situation any further."
I still stood in place, glaring blankly at the oddly paired duo, who both now awkwardly smiled back at me. The pair almost carried on like father and son, with the dad being ashamed of the actions of his boy, while forcing him to confess he was the one who tossed the baseball through the passenger side window of the neighbors car.
"Please accept this token of our gratitude, for your understanding of the, well, miscommunication..," C'Kuch said, holding up a five dollar scratch off ticket, while wearing a very forced and almost goofy looking grin.
"Um...thanks…" I took the small strip of cardboard from between his long, bony fingers, cutting my eyes down to the ticket, and back up to meet the two, who now began to turn away from the front of my home.
As I watched the two stroll away, Ponytail turned around to face me again.
"Just one more thing…"
My heart instantly sank. I had almost let myself believe that this whole mess was over with. "What now!?" I thought. Who the he...um, who was this guy anyway? Was he about to convince me to make another deal? Maybe he was about to pull the rug out from under me and say this was all a joke! Like, "Naw, Sucka! You damn sure goin' to Hell!" I braced for the impact of whatever the guy was about to say.
"You may wanna turn on your autocorrect, mate." With that, he gave me one of those winks with a click of the tongue, before he spun on his heels and continued on his leisurely walk away from my house.
I just paced backwards, before nudging my front door shut with my foot, still slack jawed and thoroughly perplexed by the events of the last few days. I just stood in place, glaring at the damn door for a good ten minutes, at least. After a while, once I had regained control of my senses and motor functions, I placed a call to Jess, to ask if she had spoken to her ex. Sure, I wasn't a fan of talking on the phone, but I sure as shit wasn't ready to start texting again, just yet.
Though I never could have predicted I would be happy to hear that she had indeed talked to Douche..well, Dawson, I couldn't help but be thrilled that he was apparently back to his absurdly charming self. He apologized to her for being distant at the show the previous night, claiming he had no idea what came over him. He just felt empty, for some reason, but hoped we would consider returning to the bar that night; to see him at his full potential.
While I held the phone, nestled between my neck and shoulder, I scratched off the complimentary lotto ticket, to see I had just won two grand! Not too bad of a restitution for potential years of therapy and nightmares.
So, yeah. That was a pretty crazy couple of days, but I followed the blonde guy's advice, and made sure to turn on my damn autocorrect. I still plan to proofread every damn text message I type before I hit send from now on, though. I'll be damned...um, I won't make that mistake again.
submitted by WillRayne to nosleep [link] [comments]
2022.01.19 19:20 SafeSignificant8240 Cleanest/quietest co-ops?
I just moved into a co-op and it's definitely not for me so I'm looking to submit a transfer request. Which co-ops are the least crazy/messy/loud?
submitted by SafeSignificant8240 to berkeley [link] [comments]
2022.01.19 19:20 D33N5 Barrow Intelligent Pump gone dumb?
| It worked just fine for a month or so and now just runs at a mad 4770 ish rpm all the time, tried the usual suspects pwm lead/connector, different output on the mobo, even played with the fan curves in the bios, it just wants to be the Usain Bolt of the water pump world. |
Not really a troubleshooting, post just wondering if anyone else's has suffered the same fate? It was my first time using barrow I usually stick with EK.
Pics for attention, yes o11.... I know I know, but I had to scratch that itch and it was built some time ago now.
submitted by D33N5 to watercooling [link] [comments]
2022.01.19 19:20 Zestyclose-Basil-144 Elegoo neptune 2d
Im having an issue with my neptune 2d as the first layer looks really bad can anyone help. Im using the elegoo cura that comes in the micro sd
submitted by Zestyclose-Basil-144 to elegooneptune2 [link] [comments]
2022.01.19 19:20 xxfallen420xx Found SEC comments made about insane shorting of XRT (link in description, multiple images)
|submitted by xxfallen420xx to ApeStockExchange [link] [comments]|
2022.01.19 19:20 exit143 How awful of an idea is this?
I work at a church. We had an SDI to HDMI converter go down. We've been updating to do NDI around campus, so naturally, this is a good time to make the change to this remote TV (overflow room).
On the old setup, we were taking audio out of the Blackmagic and going into a 70v amp.
I can't find an NDI to HDMI converter that has an audio deembedder built in.
Here's my thought... put an "old" Mac Mini in there with NDI tools and send the feed through there. Output the screen to HDMI and do audio out to the 70v.
Is that a really bad idea?
submitted by exit143 to CommercialAV [link] [comments]
2022.01.19 19:20 green_cale Ranked Choice Voting is Exploding in America. Is that a good thing? | The Review
|submitted by green_cale to anchorage [link] [comments]|
2022.01.19 19:20 adc395 2.5 YOE Looking for some constructive feedback
I'm not getting a lot of hits on my resume/apps.. For the level of experience I have, do I have too many projects listed? And for the skills/technologies section, is it lacking? Any advice is appreciated, especially from those also in CS
submitted by adc395 to resumes [link] [comments]
2022.01.19 19:20 cagr2021 #Crator subs will be win-win-win 😁
I wanted to post this because #Crator possibilities are exciting and it literally all circles back to helping EGC become more valuable even if we dont get any huge celebrities to join. Lets say we just get everyday influencers (not super famous youtubers, just average) like makeup tutorial youtubers, how to DIY video content creators, some traveling vloggers, and etc to sign up and bring their subscribers along, even if they have like only a couple thousand subscribers each. Whether they pay in fiat or EGC, we will benefit.
And what other platform system do we know where its like a closed circular system to benefit investors either way -- if you are a crypto investor of this coin and they created the platform to benefit investors directly and as an investor you also can become a "subscriber" yourself to help make the said coin more valuable...! We are helping our entire EGC community to get richer within the span of 1 year.
To help EGC further, we as EGC investors can sign up on #Crator to be content creators AND subscribers and send EGC as a subscription payment, helping ourselves with volume, giving someone else EGC that directly helps bring awareness about EGC, like HeyJon or LSP and others.
For example, as a viewer, if i pay a subscription to someone like $15 worth of $EGC a month that will help with EGC volume, and others paying in fiat activate buy back and burn, many of us i would guess are willing to do that. Sh*t i pay for Netflix and barely have time to use it! Cut off the Netflix or whatever in your life and help make our community richer...! SIGN ME UP #Crator! 😁🤩👋
Can Youtube do this for their investors? No. can Patreon do that, No. You can just buy stock and hope it goes up after 5 or 10 years.... This is the most win-win-win situation and we all can play a part in it not just sit back and hope!
submitted by cagr2021 to evergrowcoin [link] [comments]
2022.01.19 19:20 JustTheRealNews US Department of Labor files lawsuit against San Antonio company seeking $114K in overtime back wages, damages for 79 security guards
|submitted by JustTheRealNews to JustTheRealNews [link] [comments]|
2022.01.19 19:20 FingerZaps Nice afternoon cutbow! (Colorado)
|submitted by FingerZaps to flyfishing [link] [comments]|
2022.01.19 19:20 niklas_5000 Iran is 100% fine
|submitted by niklas_5000 to hoi4 [link] [comments]|